Tuesday 31 May 2011

Robbie Williams - Strong

Working in a shop that doesn't have many customers, you find little ways to entertain yourself. Mainly through people watching or generally spying on what's going on out of the windows, in the freedom that is Being Outside The Shop Of Doom. It's not that bad, really, just a bit boring. Here's how I entertained myself this week:

1.) Watching a seagull that appeared to be shaking its butt along to Hit Me Baby One More Time (we have the most up-to-date music playing over the tannoy at our shopping centre, clearly)

2.) The faulty vending machine at work strikes again! Some poor bastard lost his money. I'm beginning to think there aren't really any ice cold drinks in there at all...
^ This is the real reason The Coca-Cola Company are so rich...(!)

3.) Making a cat out of a bag (and somewhat misquoting an idiom there), some tickets and general stationery:
MIAOW!


4.) Tweeting about fashion mishaps I've seen: @emmylou1602 Dear shopper, Double denim doesn't work. It especially doesn't work when the top and bottom are different colours. And when you're pulling the jeans out of your arsecrack? Not the best look ever. Team that with you leaning forward like Quasimodo cos you can't balance on your wedgey heels and you have a disaster. #sadtimes

5.) Blogging. Yes, I manage to blog at work from my phone. Naughty naughty. I would care but it's one of the only things that keeps me sane as I'm standing doing nothing for five hours, waiting for customers.

6.) Being a bit of a psychopath. Here's one of my Facebook statuses (statii?!): "[emmylou1602] would happily scalp someone for a peppermint latte right now. I think they have catnip for Emmys in or something."

Thursday 26 May 2011

Pharell - Frontin'

A Jar of Balloons Survey, by [james ensor]

(Yes, I'm one of *those* annoying people who likes to do surveys. Sorry!)




1.) How conscious are you of your posture?
Pretty conscious. My posture is pretty poor and because it's always been poor, I actually find it difficult and sometimes painful to put my shoulders back.



2.) What's the highest floor on which you've ever lived?
Mine and Benj's last flat was set on the first and second floors (or second and third floors if you're on the wrong side of the Atlantic ;) )



3.) Do you get jittery during airplane turbulence? How jittery?
Not really. I do say a prayer and ask that God looks after us all if the ride gets a bit bumpy and that calms me.



4.) Do you still drink glasses of milk?
Yes, yes I do! In't milk brilliant?!



5.) How's your balance?
Awful. I am the clumsiest person in the world.



6.) What games do you play with small children you meet (such as faking snatching off their noses by poking a thumb between fingers)?
Well I don't really spend much time with small children, but Cem will tell you I played choo choo trains with Onur in Sainsbury's haha. I don't like the whole fake nose-snatching thing, I dunno why!



7.) Is it your tendency to order the same dish over and over or mix it up?
Both. If there's a dish in a restaurant that I really like, I'll order it again, but I like to go to restaurants to try dishes I've never eaten before, if that's possible, so yeah, I think I err on the side of mixing it up.



8.) How are you at not losing pens?
Terrible.



9.) Have you ever made a scrapbook?
I've always started a scrapbook and never finished them. I'm better at photo albums :)



10.) Is there anything that feels nicer touching the back of the hand than a tassel? What about gently blown breath?
I find this question slightly creepy, I don't know why!



11.) What did you call bowel movements as a child?
Poo.



12.) When at a museum, do you like to walk around by yourself or take the tour?
Walk around by myself. I like to explore without the "come here for enforced fun!" kinda stuff.



13.) When cooking, do you eyeball or measure?
Eyeball. I don't have any weighing scales or measuring cups, all my baking recipes are done by using a mug and estimation.



14.) Was your Christmas tree (if you had one as a child) fake or real? What was it topped with, an angel or a star?
Fake. And topped with a star. It's now fake and topped with an angel playing a violin. <-- I can't stand that ornament, she is playing the violin on the wrong side ARGH! Well, that's Mum and Dad's tree. I have my own that's 12 inches tall and that has tiny gold baubles and no topping.



15.) Do you wear non-winter hats?
Rarely.



16.) What celebrities have you met?
Sir Bobby Charlton when I was 3. Syd Little (if he counts as a celebrity, bless him. I used to work alongside him, but that's another story, hehe). That's about it, I think. Ronnie O' Sullivan once walked past me at Silverstone race circuit and I would've molested him if my other half wasn't in the garage next to me. Sad times.



17.) What is the deepest water in which you've been swimming?
Technically? The Atlantic ocean. But I hate being out of my depth as I'm a really poor swimmer.



18.) If you could walk on stage as the lead singer of any band in any time period, who would it be?
I would love to have been Robert Plant in 1972 or Freddie Mercury in 1986.



19.) About what subject (other than yourself) do you possess the most knowledge?
Errrrm, probably playing the violin or human biology stuff. A weird combo, I know!



20.) What is the worst you've ever burned yourself?
I'm pretty lucky, I have a burn scar about the size of my fingernail on my right wrist, that's it. (I caught it on the oven shelf whilst taking out a banana bread)



21.) What percentage of your life would you say you spend alone and recollecting?
At the moment, seeing as I only work 9 hours per week, I would say.... 80%. I spend a lot of time alone while Mum, Dad and The Brother are at work and I am an over-thinker, so yeah.



22.) Okay, you have a plate of cake and ice cream: do you go with a spoon, with a fork, or with both?
I would prefer the fork for the cake and a spoon for the ice cream, but I wouldn't use both pieces of cutlery at the same time, I don't like it.



23.) What advice do you generally give to people who have colds?
Drink fluids! And stay away from me.



24.) Have you ever seriously done the Limbo?
No.



25.) How are you at impersonations? Do you stick with them when they aren't going well or jump ship?
I am appalling at them, in general. I'm okay at some accents, but yeah, impersonations I don't generally do because I am rubbish. If they're not going well I would jump ship and get embarrassed or take the piss out of myself.

Sunday 22 May 2011

The Beatles - Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

I never cease to be amazed at how many different colours and moods the sky can be.

Here are a few samples from "1000 Acres of Sky", my set on Flickr. Enjoy:


133

Dusk.

Violet

View the rest of "1000 Acres of Sky" here.

emmylou1602 on Flickr

Friday 20 May 2011

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

Dear Secret Drag Queen,

I am glad I made you feel comfortable whilst out shopping for a fabulous ladies red leather jacket.

I am sorry that you feel like you have to be secretive about it because of what people say and do.

The photo of you in your blue floaty dress was so pretty and your red wig is amazing.

You looked better in the ladies jacket I sold you than the drab business suit you were wearing when you walked in.

Stay fabulous,
Emmy xxx

Thursday 12 May 2011

Adele - Hometown Glory

Dear Shoppers,

You think I can't hear you singing along to the songs on the tannoy, but I can.

And it fills me with delight every time, no matter how tone deaf you are. The more dramatic, the better.

Go for it, you giant freaks, feel the music!

love,
Emmy.

Thursday 5 May 2011

David Bowie - Life On Mars?

So, I just voted. I voted "yes" to AV, as I explained in my previous entry. In the borough elections, there were 2 x Conservative candidates, 2 x UKIP, 2 x Independent and 3 x Labour. I voted for all 3 Labour candidates, purely because they were the most opposite to the Conservatives. No other reason, unfortunately, but I didn't want to waste my vote. Sad times. In the town elections, there were 3 Conservative candidates and 3 Independents. I wrote "NO CONFIDENCE IN ANY CANDIDATE" at the top and scribbled over the boxes. I hate doing that, but there was no one I wanted to vote for. I guess if that's the case then I should run for the post myself, but yeah right.




On entering the polling station, 2 ladies were stood at the front door and asked for the polling number on the front of my polling card, so I gave it to them, without thinking, as I've only voted at a polling station once before, I am used to using the postal vote. Then I thought "hang on, they're wearing rosettes, the bitchez!". I asked them to remove my number from their records as I don't appear on the edited register and I didn't want them to have my details. They obliged. It was so confusing though, I thought they were polling officials til I saw their cleverly hidden rosettes behind their closed jackets!



Please vote, people! I can't believe there were only 2 other people in the polling station apart from me, shocking! I went in at lunch time too, so thought it would be busy with people on their breaks, but no! I don't think people should be *forced* to vote, but people should definitely take more interest in it. If people were forced to vote, you'd get loads of spoiled ballots or people voting for a random person, which would not be helpful in the slightest. We live in a free country and have the civil right to vote, but the civil right to NOT vote, too. I know some people who refuse to vote for religious reasons, so to be forced to vote would be very upsetting for them. Please vote if you can though, even if you're just voting for the "best of a bad bunch".