Dear Mr. Stout Shopper
I know you think no one was looking when you walked past the shop and fell over nothing at all, looked around, sighed with relief and continuted your walk, but I want you to know watching you fall over followed by hearing All By Myself come on over the tannoy whilst you walk away all bashful and shamefaced has made my day and a little bit of wee came out.
love from Emmy xxx
I know you think no one was looking when you walked past the shop and fell over nothing at all, looked around, sighed with relief and continuted your walk, but I want you to know watching you fall over followed by hearing All By Myself come on over the tannoy whilst you walk away all bashful and shamefaced has made my day and a little bit of wee came out.
love from Emmy xxx
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Dear Septegenarian Lady With A Walnut Face and Peroxide Perm,
You look like you've had a fight with Bet Gilroy and Katie Price in a paint factory.
Wash your face, this is the North of England, not Vegas.
You look like you've had a fight with Bet Gilroy and Katie Price in a paint factory.
Wash your face, this is the North of England, not Vegas.
Kind regards,
Emmy xxx
Emmy xxx
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A man just came into the shop with the most epic moustache ever, it looked like this ^ ^ and it was blonde and grey and white and ginger. I tried so hard to get a photo of him and failed, but that's okay cos I did this completely life-like artist's rendition of his entire face. It's uncanny.
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I've just realised that these things were the most interesting things about my day and that's quite sad. FML.
It's Mr. Pringle!!! :D :D :D hehehe :)
ReplyDeleteOr Mr. Monopoly if you sort of squint a bit... :)
BLESS your face for linking to me. I lubs you, I do!
ReplyDeleteThese are hilarious. They make me want to come to work with you so that we can point and laugh together. Let us know what other delights you see! Yaaaay!
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